Dear "One of the Guys"

Dear Roxy,

So I just read your post about pretty face, and I need your help. All my life I've been know as the fat girl, the girl thats's one of the guys, because. 1. I'm the one guys never look at, because I am one of the guys, because of my low self esteem it causes me to dress super manly, jeans a tshirt, and my chucks.. When i wear a dress for a special occasion, or even try to wear shorts and a blouse, I feel so disgusting, and out of place.. My family has a history of being over weight and diabetes, but my moms side my grandmothers side to be exact, they're are all skinny and petite, my grandmother refuses to let me go to Mexico with her, because she says, "the people are very judgemental there." My mom is trying her hardest to lose weight, but when I ask her if I can join, she will not let me, I feel as if she wants to be the only one to accomplish, because since I have told her about this, all she makes or buys is fattening foods, and talks down on my weight. But my other problem is, guys who think my self esteem is so low, they treat me like an object. They'll sweet talk me, try to have sex with me, and just leave me hanging and say, you're not my type.. And that made me feel like trash where I gave up on guys, the first person I loved and loved me back, cheated on me for a beautiful girl with a nice body. As it is I already have a problem.. I can eat all day anything, even when I'm full, I see food I eat it. When it comes to dinner, I eat one plate, and I HAVE to get seconds.. All this has really taken a toll on me, I feel like my bodies not bad, but I have a wierd body figure, no butt, small boobs very little curves, a wide belly, back fat, big arms knocked kneed with a double chin. I need your help, when it comes to diet and excersizing.. I have very little money for the gym. And Idk how I can work out at home, I feel no motivation to do so since I have no idea what I'm doing, my body does this thing where I can eat healthy for a few days, and I can drop inches but the number will always be the same, yet the minute I see food I like.. I just want to devour it, and I gain in double.. I don't know how to eat healthy, this is all a struggle for me. I want to be healthy, and I also want to feel pretty, especially because my 21st birthday is in August of next year, and I want to wear a dress that "wow's!" everyone. Can you please help..   

p.s.. You are one of my insirarions ❤️💖

Love, 

"One of the Guys" 

 

 

Dear " One of the guys"

Pacoima, CA

 

I'm sure I say this a lot but, reading your email I felt like I was reading the journal I kept as a teenager........I can feel your frustration and sadness through your email. It really touched my heart but, I'm going have to give you a small dose of tough love k. It seems to me like you are relying too much on others. You rely on your mother to help you with losing weight, You rely on men to make you feel pretty, rely on others for approval (a lot of us usually do). People will disappoint you, people will never truly understand you more than you will, You know You. If your mother would gladly offer to help I would say "heck yeah take it" but since she's not, you cant just give up. I first started losing weight on my trip to visit my family in Guatemala (and yes people talked a lot about my weight). It was so hot I simply lost my appetite and when I came back to LA I found out I had lost 10lbs and that motivated me. I did my research, I took on extra shifts at work to be able to afford my new healthy lifestyle. I distance myself a tad bit from my family and friends to focus on my goal.  That way I didn't have to hear negative comments or be tempted to do anything that could make me fall back into my hold habits. I took very small steps and made so many mistakes but eventually I caught on. I went from being able to only run for 2 minutes at a time to running for 2 hours non stop. I had no help, I did it all on my own and I feel so damn proud to say that too.

You cant rely on men to make you feel pretty my love. A lot of people say " You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else" and I never really understood what that meant till now. You have to figure out who you are and who you aren't and accept the perfections along with your flaws. I got cheated on too and trust me that shit lowers your self esteem like nothing else can but you cant let that happen. People cheat on attractive and not so attractive people and they will cheat with an attractive or a not so attractive person but whoever they cheat on you with usually has absolutely nothing to do with you, and I really need you to remember that.

Being one of the guys isn't such a bad thing. That's how I felt but try not to look for love, let it find you and in the mean time focus on you and work accomplishing your goals.

Wear what you want to wear. If you feel comfortable wearing your t shirts then by all means do it, theres absolutely nothing wrong with that but if you want to wear a dress then wear a dress and instead of giving yourself negative comments, compliment yourself. We can be our worst enemies. Focus on you.

When you really want something you don't find excuses you find ways to make it happen. If you cant afford a gym, workout at home. You can find everything on youtube, on books, on the internet. Start small, go for a walk or run around your neighborhood 3x a week (if its safe). Try to get at least 30min of physical activity everyday. unfortunately I cant give you will power (if I could I would, trust me) that's all up to you. Make an inspirational board and look through it every morning, that will help you start your day on a positive note. I purchased a calorie book (it literally lists the calorie count of almost all foods), I wrote down everything I ate (EVERYTHING) so I could keep track of my eating habits. Discipline and determination are key to weight loss, but you just have to be willing to put in the work

I truly hope this helps. You got this Babygirl. You've gone though so much this should be a piece of cake. Remember your weight doesn't define you, It doesn't make you a better person and it doesn't make you a bad person. Inner beauty determines that. You got this!

Love Roxy.

 

p.s. I would love to help you pick out a dress for your 21st Bday! ( a little Inspirations)