Dear "One of the Guys"

Dear Roxy,

So I just read your post about pretty face, and I need your help. All my life I've been know as the fat girl, the girl thats's one of the guys, because. 1. I'm the one guys never look at, because I am one of the guys, because of my low self esteem it causes me to dress super manly, jeans a tshirt, and my chucks.. When i wear a dress for a special occasion, or even try to wear shorts and a blouse, I feel so disgusting, and out of place.. My family has a history of being over weight and diabetes, but my moms side my grandmothers side to be exact, they're are all skinny and petite, my grandmother refuses to let me go to Mexico with her, because she says, "the people are very judgemental there." My mom is trying her hardest to lose weight, but when I ask her if I can join, she will not let me, I feel as if she wants to be the only one to accomplish, because since I have told her about this, all she makes or buys is fattening foods, and talks down on my weight. But my other problem is, guys who think my self esteem is so low, they treat me like an object. They'll sweet talk me, try to have sex with me, and just leave me hanging and say, you're not my type.. And that made me feel like trash where I gave up on guys, the first person I loved and loved me back, cheated on me for a beautiful girl with a nice body. As it is I already have a problem.. I can eat all day anything, even when I'm full, I see food I eat it. When it comes to dinner, I eat one plate, and I HAVE to get seconds.. All this has really taken a toll on me, I feel like my bodies not bad, but I have a wierd body figure, no butt, small boobs very little curves, a wide belly, back fat, big arms knocked kneed with a double chin. I need your help, when it comes to diet and excersizing.. I have very little money for the gym. And Idk how I can work out at home, I feel no motivation to do so since I have no idea what I'm doing, my body does this thing where I can eat healthy for a few days, and I can drop inches but the number will always be the same, yet the minute I see food I like.. I just want to devour it, and I gain in double.. I don't know how to eat healthy, this is all a struggle for me. I want to be healthy, and I also want to feel pretty, especially because my 21st birthday is in August of next year, and I want to wear a dress that "wow's!" everyone. Can you please help..   

p.s.. You are one of my insirarions ❤️💖

Love, 

"One of the Guys" 

 

 

Dear " One of the guys"

Pacoima, CA

 

I'm sure I say this a lot but, reading your email I felt like I was reading the journal I kept as a teenager........I can feel your frustration and sadness through your email. It really touched my heart but, I'm going have to give you a small dose of tough love k. It seems to me like you are relying too much on others. You rely on your mother to help you with losing weight, You rely on men to make you feel pretty, rely on others for approval (a lot of us usually do). People will disappoint you, people will never truly understand you more than you will, You know You. If your mother would gladly offer to help I would say "heck yeah take it" but since she's not, you cant just give up. I first started losing weight on my trip to visit my family in Guatemala (and yes people talked a lot about my weight). It was so hot I simply lost my appetite and when I came back to LA I found out I had lost 10lbs and that motivated me. I did my research, I took on extra shifts at work to be able to afford my new healthy lifestyle. I distance myself a tad bit from my family and friends to focus on my goal.  That way I didn't have to hear negative comments or be tempted to do anything that could make me fall back into my hold habits. I took very small steps and made so many mistakes but eventually I caught on. I went from being able to only run for 2 minutes at a time to running for 2 hours non stop. I had no help, I did it all on my own and I feel so damn proud to say that too.

You cant rely on men to make you feel pretty my love. A lot of people say " You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else" and I never really understood what that meant till now. You have to figure out who you are and who you aren't and accept the perfections along with your flaws. I got cheated on too and trust me that shit lowers your self esteem like nothing else can but you cant let that happen. People cheat on attractive and not so attractive people and they will cheat with an attractive or a not so attractive person but whoever they cheat on you with usually has absolutely nothing to do with you, and I really need you to remember that.

Being one of the guys isn't such a bad thing. That's how I felt but try not to look for love, let it find you and in the mean time focus on you and work accomplishing your goals.

Wear what you want to wear. If you feel comfortable wearing your t shirts then by all means do it, theres absolutely nothing wrong with that but if you want to wear a dress then wear a dress and instead of giving yourself negative comments, compliment yourself. We can be our worst enemies. Focus on you.

When you really want something you don't find excuses you find ways to make it happen. If you cant afford a gym, workout at home. You can find everything on youtube, on books, on the internet. Start small, go for a walk or run around your neighborhood 3x a week (if its safe). Try to get at least 30min of physical activity everyday. unfortunately I cant give you will power (if I could I would, trust me) that's all up to you. Make an inspirational board and look through it every morning, that will help you start your day on a positive note. I purchased a calorie book (it literally lists the calorie count of almost all foods), I wrote down everything I ate (EVERYTHING) so I could keep track of my eating habits. Discipline and determination are key to weight loss, but you just have to be willing to put in the work

I truly hope this helps. You got this Babygirl. You've gone though so much this should be a piece of cake. Remember your weight doesn't define you, It doesn't make you a better person and it doesn't make you a bad person. Inner beauty determines that. You got this!

Love Roxy.

 

p.s. I would love to help you pick out a dress for your 21st Bday! ( a little Inspirations)

Dear "Pretty Face",

Dear Roxy.

So i sent you an email on both of the emails that i know of because i did not know which you're using..

I've been telling myself i wanted to email you for a long time now but somehow i always postpone it because i say that how I'm feeling will get better. Since i was 13 I've been dealing with my weight, being bigger than my friends, and family comments " you should go on a diet" " you have such a pretty face,but if you loose you ll even be prettier".. and i always grew up thinking i never had a good body because of the society we live in. After i started Psychology as my major, it actually helped me to love my body more and learn that it was all just a wrong image that society gave.

Then came a time,i had lost 17kilos all together and i gained self esteem,i was on top! Guys i wanted,i got.Compliments i wanted,i got. Family looked at me differently too,it was great! 

Right now, my boyfriend calls my body type curvy and i learned to love it. I am curvy and i know I'm not over weight or obese in an unhealthy weight. I go to the gym,i love the gym.i eat everything and i watch out. But these past few days,I've been feeling like crap. I was 4kilos away from my first goal,which was 65,then i gained 4kilos again and since i saw that i just hate it. Every time i eat,i feel SO guilty. All week, I count everything i eat and then theres a voice in my head "you re so fat you don't deserve to eat that" or " you can't afford to have even a small piece". Its so tiring.. Saturday i have my brothers engagement and I'm so worried about how I'm going to look,luckily I'm wearing really high heels.. but I'm dreading my arms so much. I hate them and sometimes i force myself not to wear short sleeves..How do you deal with the days where you don't feel that good? You re always so stylish and beautiful, and when it comes to me being stylish i always say oh I'm too fat to be stylish,nothing looks good on me. I feel pretty all the time when it comes to my face,but looking down can ruin everything..I always find myself comparing other girls to me to make sure I'm still in a "okay size"..Im not asking for healthy tips or exercise tips because I've known them since forever.. but all i need is,I'm not even sure, but i just need to feel okay about all of this..

Im sorry for the long email,and please reply back whenever you feel like it and whenever you have free time. Thanks for your posts that give a boost!

- Pretty Face

 

Dear Pretty Face,

 

As crazy as it sounds I know exactly what you're going through. Taking a Psychology class also helped me stop my eating disorder.....I guess finally realizing what triggered my eating disorder also helped me fight it! You said in your email " Right now, my boyfriend calls my body type curvy and I've learned to love it." That's a great thing that boyfriend loves that about you and that you love it too! " I am curvy and I know I'm not over weight or obese in an unhealthy weight."  When a normal person reads that they would say so what's the problem? and the problem is that you are focusing all your time and energy on your weight which leaves to stree, which leads to weight gain! Let it go!!! Set yourself free from the # on your scale ( which I can tell you check often).  Everyone in the world has crappy days you just cant spend too much time in the crappy zone. Do things for yourself, for your health! Own your body. You are so much more than the # on the scale, more than your arms. If you continue to focus on your weight you'll miss out on life. Life is too short to not that piece of cake, Life is too short to not wear short sleeves.

What do I deal with days when I don't feel good? I allow myself to feel what I'm feeling for a couple of hours but I do not let it get to me......... I'm an emotional eater so I try to do things that get me out of my slump. I do things that make me happy or Ill try new things instead of eating my feelings. Do whatever makes you happy. For me a little shopping therapy, lifting heavy weights, zumba, and playing with children usually do the trick. Direct all the energy you are using on your weight and focus it on something else and ill assure you that you that your mood will improve. When I need a little inspiration to get back on the grind , I read peoples success stories. If they did it, If I did it, you can definitely do it!

Thank you so much for being such a loyal follower and I'm so glad you emailed me! Hope this helps! YOU GOT THIS!

XX

All Black Everything

HELLO DOLLS!!!

So here are all the details of my All Black Everything Outfits!

Hope your Holidays are full of Joy and free of stress!

Tag me on your holiday looks so I can feature you!

Muah!

I got this from eBay and I absolutely love it! 

I've seen this dress on IG for $80!

I found it for $25 and it's free Shipping! 

Get it HERE

This is definitely a must have Statement Top!

So different, so stylish,  and it's black and Affordable!! I thought I had died and go w to shopping heaven when I first saw it!

Get yours HERE

I purchased this at a Windsor store in Chicago. I haven't been to a Windsor store in years but they have amazing clothes at such an affordable price!  The price on this skirt was $35! I couldn't believe it so I had one of the sales reps doubt check for me! I purchased three tulle skirts all for $90! Usually they are sold for a minimal of $80 each elsewhere.  Anyways I'm so glad accidentally ran into that store. They don't have this skirt online anymore but check or call your local store. They have midi tulle skirt online that's just as amazing!