Thursday, December 18, 2014

Dear "Pretty Face",

Dear Roxy.

So i sent you an email on both of the emails that i know of because i did not know which you're using..

I've been telling myself i wanted to email you for a long time now but somehow i always postpone it because i say that how I'm feeling will get better. Since i was 13 I've been dealing with my weight, being bigger than my friends, and family comments " you should go on a diet" " you have such a pretty face,but if you loose you ll even be prettier".. and i always grew up thinking i never had a good body because of the society we live in. After i started Psychology as my major, it actually helped me to love my body more and learn that it was all just a wrong image that society gave.

Then came a time,i had lost 17kilos all together and i gained self esteem,i was on top! Guys i wanted,i got.Compliments i wanted,i got. Family looked at me differently too,it was great! 

Right now, my boyfriend calls my body type curvy and i learned to love it. I am curvy and i know I'm not over weight or obese in an unhealthy weight. I go to the gym,i love the gym.i eat everything and i watch out. But these past few days,I've been feeling like crap. I was 4kilos away from my first goal,which was 65,then i gained 4kilos again and since i saw that i just hate it. Every time i eat,i feel SO guilty. All week, I count everything i eat and then theres a voice in my head "you re so fat you don't deserve to eat that" or " you can't afford to have even a small piece". Its so tiring.. Saturday i have my brothers engagement and I'm so worried about how I'm going to look,luckily I'm wearing really high heels.. but I'm dreading my arms so much. I hate them and sometimes i force myself not to wear short sleeves..How do you deal with the days where you don't feel that good? You re always so stylish and beautiful, and when it comes to me being stylish i always say oh I'm too fat to be stylish,nothing looks good on me. I feel pretty all the time when it comes to my face,but looking down can ruin everything..I always find myself comparing other girls to me to make sure I'm still in a "okay size"..Im not asking for healthy tips or exercise tips because I've known them since forever.. but all i need is,I'm not even sure, but i just need to feel okay about all of this..

Im sorry for the long email,and please reply back whenever you feel like it and whenever you have free time. Thanks for your posts that give a boost!
- Pretty Face
Dear Pretty Face,
As crazy as it sounds I know exactly what you're going through. Taking a Psychology class also helped me stop my eating disorder.....I guess finally realizing what triggered my eating disorder also helped me fight it! You said in your email " Right now, my boyfriend calls my body type curvy and I've learned to love it." That's a great thing that boyfriend loves that about you and that you love it too! " I am curvy and I know I'm not over weight or obese in an unhealthy weight."  When a normal person reads that they would say so what's the problem? and the problem is that you are focusing all your time and energy on your weight which leaves to stree, which leads to weight gain! Let it go!!! Set yourself free from the # on your scale ( which I can tell you check often).  Everyone in the world has crappy days you just cant spend too much time in the crappy zone. Do things for yourself, for your health! Own your body. You are so much more than the # on the scale, more than your arms. If you continue to focus on your weight you'll miss out on life. Life is too short to not that piece of cake, Life is too short to not wear short sleeves.
What do I deal with days when I don't feel good? I allow myself to feel what I'm feeling for a couple of hours but I do not let it get to me......... I'm an emotional eater so I try to do things that get me out of my slump. I do things that make me happy or Ill try new things instead of eating my feelings. Do whatever makes you happy. For me a little shopping therapy, lifting heavy weights, zumba, and playing with children usually do the trick. Direct all the energy you are using on your weight and focus it on something else and ill assure you that you that your mood will improve. When I need a little inspiration to get back on the grind , I read peoples success stories. If they did it, If I did it, you can definitely do it!
Thank you so much for being such a loyal follower and I'm so glad you emailed me! Hope this helps! YOU GOT THIS!

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